5 Rules for your BRA
Rules are essential. They create structure and provide for consequences. We secretly love rules, even if we do not want to admit it. Rules help humans make decisions. These BRA rules will help you make decisions about consequences for bras that misbehave...
Rule #1: Your bra should never allow her straps to slide off of your shoulders. EVER. This is selfish and rude, not to mention embarrassing. Who wants to be in an interview or an important work meeting and have to shove your hand under your shirt, right beneath the collar and fish for that annoying straggling strap just to yank it up and say in your head, “Why did I wear this bra?”
Rule #2: Your bra should never allow your girls to spill out of the cups. EVER. Your bra should not slack. Her main responsibility is to support your girls and keep them where they should be (enveloped in her cups and parallel with your underarms). Yes, even if you nursed a bunch of babies or had weight changes! If your bra can’t handle your girls, then she should be fired on the spot without warning.
Rule #3: Your bra should never permit her band to ride up your back. This is a big no-no. She is getting old and lazy and trying to pawn her job off onto the straps. The band should stay put while providing 90% of the support. You could possibly give her a warning by tightening the band, but most likely, it is time for the two of you to part ways.
Rule #4: Your bra should never let your girls sit lower than your underarms. What kind of a bra has the nerve to promote a saggy chest? Again, blame it on that band of hers. So lazy. The band is supposed to give you a snug hug all day without causing discomfort. Her job is the most important, so if she can’t pull her weight, give her the pink slip!
Rule #5: Your bra shall never demand your attention during the day. Your bra should be put on in the morning and be extremely passive all day, not being needy and requiring any adjusting on your part. Bras need to know their place. Do not let a self-centered bra stick around and divert your attention from your amazing life! Shame, shame!
If you know a bra that is breaking even ONE of the above rules, offer her an early retirement package. If she is still in working condition, break up with her nicely and donate her to Sheer Delight, where we will find her a new home!
Otherwise, ditch those naughty, rule-breaking bras and allow the Sheer Delight team to educate you on your options
during a FREE bra fitting!